


To-May-To To-Mah-To

by CheyanneChika



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Crack, Flash Fic, Gen, Prank Wars, Revenge, tomatoes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 10:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12746271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheyanneChika/pseuds/CheyanneChika
Summary: Clint and Tony are arguing and Bucky has had enough.





	To-May-To To-Mah-To

**Author's Note:**

> From Jackie's prompt:
> 
> Tomayto, tomahto, doesn’t matter what you call it when you’re hit in the face with a bucket of them.
> 
> For the record, this went in a whole other direction than I was planning.

“TO-MAY-TO!”

“TO-MAH-TO!”

“TO-MAY-TO!”

“TO-MAH-TO!”

“TO-MAY-TO!”

“TO-MAH-TO!”

“TO-MAY-TO!”

“TO-MAH-TO!”

“I WILL SHOOT BOTH OF YOUR IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP!”

“BUCKY!”

…

Bucky didn’t know how he was going to kill a demigod but he was going to take Loki and his stupid scepter out.

Stark and Barton had been turned into kids around five or six years old.  They had been sent back to the tower to keep them safe while the other Avengers went to fight Loki’s minions.

Why they left Bucky in charge, Bucky certainly didn’t know.  At some point, Genius Tony Stark replied to something Barton had said with, “Meh, to-may-to to-mah-to.”

To which Barton had replied, “Who the fuck says to-mah-to?”

Stark covered his mouth.  “You said a bad word.”

“So?” Even that young, Barton’s bravado was making itself known.

Stark wasn’t about to stand down.  “So…so maybe I say to-mah-to!” Bucky was pretty sure he didn’t, but that clearly wasn’t the point.

“You’re stupid,” Barton told him.  “It’s to-may-to.”

“You’re a dumbass!” Stark replied, then covered his mouth and looked around worriedly.  When the only grownup around didn’t react, he snapped, “It’s to-mah-to!”

From there, they started arguing until Bucky snapped, just in time for Steve to arrive.

It was just as well.  The violent threat from an adult had both boys shutting up so quickly that Bucky winced.  He straightened abruptly and left.

“He didn’t mean it,” Steve said soothingly, behind him.

Both kids started crying immediately.  Bucky tried not to think about it.  They’d be back to their usual selves soon.

…

Steve had to admit that he was rather appalled with Bucky’s behavior, but he still had two small children to deal with, both of whom were sobbing.

Steve thought for a very long moment, looking at the two.  “Wanna get revenge?”

The crying stopped immediately.

…

Crawling in air vents was way easier as a child.  Steve wasn’t sure how Clint managed it when he was full-sized.  He knew he would regret giving the boys a bucket of tomatoes and making sure that Bucky would be near a vent opening, but that would come later.

Or it would come right now, when both of them transformed back into themselves while still in the vent.  Two fully grown men in there was, apparently, one too many.  The vent creaked under the weight and snapped, sending them crashing through to the floor.

The bucket of tomatoes still landed squarely on Bucky’s head.

Thus began the Great Tomato War of 2017.  No one was safe.

It was only when Tony decided to watch _Attack of the Killer Tomatoes_ for movie night and programmed five to-mah-to cannons to hit everyone every time someone onscreen said to-may-to that the ceasefire was finally called.

Bucky, after getting yet another shower, was still going to kill Loki.  And he was definitely going to do it with sentient killer tomatoes.


End file.
